From The Independent (10 from the 25 given):
- A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”
- Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!”
- There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don’t.
- When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.
- An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”
- Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
- How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.
- Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
- A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”
- A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
However my favourite, being an ex-physicist, is:
An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realise you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.”
If you’re baffled, take a look here.